Thursday, January 1, 2015

Midnight Hour

It's the end of the road, it's cold and I'm alone. I'm not quite sure how I got here, so I'm not sure how to turn around and go back. Where would I even go back to? I don't know how to fix things that I wasn't sure that they broken in the first place.

There was a moment I knew where I started, but I'm not sure I was ever really even there. Not sure when it became something else. What do I even know at all?

I don't know.

I do know that I'm not fond of where I am now, on this road that ended. I tried so hard to keep it, keep the road going, trying not to make a wrong turn. I thought I knew all the answers, I thought I had it all figured out for me, turns out I have more questions than I have answers. If I knew the truth, I would tell you.

I don't know.

I'm sort of so used to being unhappy, I always find myself there, if I wanted it or not. My stomach turns at sour thoughts, at past memories. I got myself here, even if I don't know how, and I feel like I have to keep trucking on. I'm so lost, I don't even know if I'm driving anymore. Take the wheel, find my heart, take me where I want to go. Tell me you love me, hold me, and tell me everything will be okay. Tell me I'm crazy for being unhappy, tell me I don't have to be. Say anything, tell me anything, tell me what to do. I need you there, and I reach out and touch nothing. Take my hand, that's all I want.

I don't think I'll get what I want, I don't think what I'm looking for is there. It breaks me

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