Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Keys

Sometimes you just have to sit, maybe in your car, maybe at midnight with a glass of wine. Just sitting there, thinking about your life, why you got to this point, and where to go from here. Where do I go from here?

I get so lost, the trail far behind me. Sometimes I get so stuck. How did I get here? You got what you wanted, but this isn't really what you asked for. You can't look back, there is no where back to go. Your pride is so much of who you are, it defines your very actions. You've lost so much along the way, and you don't have much to account for now. Nothing more than broken hearts, and people left in the dust.

You died, because you where alone, but in fact you were never alone at all. You had everyone, and you had me, you always knew you had me. It never changed, I was always there, and you knew it, you knew that and you still were  so alone...so alone you had to leave us all. I should have given you a reason to stay, but I didn't know. I didn't know anything, though the signs where there.

I'm kept in tiny little boxes, such as a metaphor to my life. Put me in a box I stay there, it's the very foundation of my being, I put myself in a box. It's a cozy box, it keeps me at bay. I try so hard to remove myself from it, but no matter the distance I travel or the walls I change, it's still my box. I can't every leave even if it was the break of me.

You keep me in my box, physically shoving me in it. Closing the doors. Sometimes I'll forget about my box, and then you come and open the door, just to close it on me. Just to make it that much more noticeable I can never leave.

1 comment:

  1. Your post seems very sad this week - I am not sure what is happening in your life, but I want to encourage you to never give up. I will say a prayer for you.