Tuesday, February 14, 2012

And we are the fourth glass deep

Sometimes you just want to feel like someone gets your feelings. You, for one second, want to think that someone else in this world shares what you feel. It's those moments when you wake up, you know that no matter where you are, or where they are, it will always be a gamble. When you think in that moment that you feel so emotionally entwined with them, you could be theirs forever.

I don't particularly like valentines day, most of the time I don't even know how to spell it. I don't like making a big deal out of it, mostly because I am a girl and I hate when other people make plans (I hate not knowing whats going on). And even when I do take over and make my own plans, because of TONS of other people out for valentines day, I would just rather be at home. So I have never really been one for the movie and dinner night followed or pre-followed with flowers (I don't even like flowers, they die) and chocolate (I am allergic to sugar). I did, however, make myself sugar-free red velvet cupcakes this year.

As, this is how I am, and this is how I stand, I feel in someway in titled to say I am not one of those girls who demands from their loved ones the standard, flowers, chocolate, movie, and expensive dinner. I prefer to pick some place silly and nonchalant.

This year, and the only year I even care to venture out of the house, I pick In-N-Out. Thinking that maybe my crazy aspie ways will buy me credit with him. I don't demand to be taken out to some nice dinner, I really don't care about presents, about any expensive things or even cheep things. We have fun, but I get upset with because I try and be funny. I try and throw ice-cream on him, I laugh. He gets upset. And my even more aspie ways, I try and be even more funny by trying to throw ice on him on the way inside the house.

I realize sooner than later, I could never be appreciated. It's just me who thinks this. I am, and always will be alone. I realize you are too young to really know what is going on. That you have never really known what it's like to be in love. And some day when you do, it won't be me who will reap the love.

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