Saturday, February 25, 2012

What reason do I have?

I have no way of telling you how I feel. So I say everything else just to try and get you to look at me. And I would never tell you I needed you, because there is nothing in me to make me say it. I can't ask for it, because I don't know what to ask for. And I don't know what I want from it, I just know this isn't it. I take a hundred steps back, only thinking that you took a thousand. Because I don't want to be the one so far from the finnish line, I have to make myself look like I'm feeling just as mean as you.  How could I make myself look so foolish to tell you I still want you here, when you are already gone.

I'm so lost running circles, I get so nauseous. I forget which way the door is, and I've no idea how to get out of my head. If you want to spend as little time with me as possible, okay that is fine with me, I will avoid you too. I hate myself, and I drive myself crazy just trying to follow your lines. I just wind up a mess, that I can't put back together again. It will always be this way, and I will always be different from you. This is why it is always better to be alone, then to always be hurting you.

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